Postings to the World Wide Woof!

Woof Woof! and welcome to a furry corner of the interweb thingy, that is the online home of myself, BonusBear, furry superstar, bon viveur and all round loveable scamp On these pages, you'll find out all about me, my family, friends, and other happenings that make my tail wag.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

The Bear's Guide to Cuteness

Woof Woof!

Did you know Bear cuteness is a scientifically measurable quantity...? - I didn't think so, but Mum and Dad decided to carry out major research into the subject when they realised that some days I am much cuter than others, some days lots of people stop to play with me and other days only a couple of people will.

For example, on sunny days more people want to play with me, so weather, and in particular temperature, are both factors affecting cuteness.

Eventually, after six years of research, Mum and Dad have come up with a formula for determining cuteness, it's quite complicated ( i don't understand it, i got stuck as soon as they mentioned chicken) so pay attention:

Cuteness is an instantaneous measurement (i may be cute one minute but not the next, i.e. immediately before and after rolling in fox poo) although of course an average cuteness can also be calculated.

The cuteness equation is given in the graphic on the right and the symbols are noted thus:

Ba = Total action of bear at instant
Ba = B + Bm where B = Bear presence and Bm = Momentum of the Bear (i.e. wagging or jumping provide extra cuteness)
Wy = Number of young women who have said hello on my walk
My = Number of young men who have said hello on my walk
Mo = Number of old men who have said hello on my walk
k = Kids
p = pushchair
w = weather, where hot>cold
t = time of day, this can be looked up from empirical charts, for example i'm cuter at lunchtime than at 4am when nobody's around to see my cuteness (like shrodingers cat)
b = biscuit presence
c = chicken or bacon presence
O.l.f = the old lady factor - probably the most immportant factor of all and a separate equation in itself, (see graphic) it is the density of old ladies in the locality.

Crumbs, told you it was complicated, lucky i'm cute even though i don't understand why... i need a nap.........

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Looking Good!

Woof Woof!

Here's little Fudge looking REALLY happy in his new costume, glad you like it.......! Just a bit of advice - don't go to the park wearing it, you might bump into your mates.

(Runs off wagging and humming: "I don't have to wear it any more la la la la la!")